Okay, so after admitting to being an utter failure at this scheduled writing thing, I have decided that I need less pressure. Thus, this will NOT be a consistent thing, merely one of those “oh look! something got posted!” things. Although I admit to disappointment when I check my favorite blogs on a daily basis only to find that nothing new has been added, I also find that it is kind of like an unexpected gift when something new does pop up. Not that I believe too many people are holding their breath for my next missive, but …well, we’ll stop there for pride’s sake.
Lots has been happening lately and none of it planned, not the least of which included some Spring Break day trips, a whirlwind trip to New Fallon — I mean New York (did I mention I saw Jimmy Fallon?!?), pet illness woes, and hosting friends at my abode while on my own for a weekend. (Wow…it really has been a long time since I’ve written. Eeesh.) As I look back I am amazed that I lived through them all and truly see how blessed I am that God gave me such opportunities. Opportunities that I never in a million years would have sought out.
Oh. And I got a job.
It’s really more of a hobby. I still need to find the job that will help to feed my family, but this is one that I hope will help to feed my soul (read pedicures, tattoos, motorcycle riding certification, Goodwill sprees, Kindle books.) I will be, eventually, manning (part-part-time) the counter at the local piercing and body arts studio in town. I am a SUPER excited, completely overwhelmed and a tad bit scared. It’s admittedly a little outside my norm, but just feels right. A little bit scary, a lot bit fun and in the end it will be awesome for my soul. I can feel it. The best part is that this job was not driven by my personal wants and desires, which usually gets me nowhere but trouble and nothing but stress in the end, but rather it was handed to me when I was least expecting it. You know, how God usually works. How most awesome experiences come about. I look back and I see that the majority of my learning experiences have come when I least expected them and with a healthy step outside my comfort zone.
For instance, New York was never on my list of things to do for fun. Okay, maybe back in high school when I didn’t know better, but since I’ve grown up and learned that (a)I really don’t like crowds, (b)being lost stresses me out beyond being able to read a map and (c), although it is good for me and I usually don’t die in the end – I do NOT look forward to being set down in a place where I have no touch points and left to fend for myself. But this trip, which again, came out of nowhere as a gift, was all about all of those things and I ended up LOVING it. I saw and enjoyed things I never thought I would, learned (almost) how to “do” the subway on my own, talked with complete strangers, sought out the crowds in Time Square and marveled instead of feared for my life, and just had an overall fabulous time. I want to go back! God was hard at work that weekend. In fact, I believe He worked overtime because we seriously flew by the seat of our pants the entire weekend with no plans other than to see a handful of things that we, in turn and true to form, had no plans on how to get to. He even went so far as to provided the perfect child/pet sitters for the ones who were left behind. Once again, a little bit scary, a lot bit fun and in the end it was awesome for my soul! Pure blessings.
The past few months have been full of these. I could write on and on and on about all of the blessings God has sent in the guise of weird and unasked for opportunities. Seriously. I pray that I will learn to perhaps focus on these experiences and the blessings behind them rather than on the everyday crappity-crap that I sometimes find myself mired in. The drudgery of sending out resumes and the hopelessness of never finding “the perfect job”, of things basically not going the way I want them to on the time schedule I feel I need to keep. Instead, I am keeping my ear to the ground, I am applying for less than perfect but more interesting things, that perhaps I am not fully qualified for, just in the interest of expanding my horizons and feeding my inner self with fresh experiences while learning to tighten my proverbial belt, know that God has a different timeline that will in the end be the perfect one. It may not happen today, but sitting here grumping about not getting call backs on the jobs I am qualified for isn’t going to make it happen any faster either. Instead, I will distract myself with what I have been given and looking forward to the things I will receive, through the whims of the Power that is, and not just my own. I will focus on the fact that I am not in charge, no matter how much I work towards my personally envisioned goals. For, as I have witnessed repeatedly these past few months, I do NOT always know what is best for me, beyond trusting a God who does.